I think the theme song for the Quarterlife Crisis should be "Show Me The Way" by Styx. Except for that part where it gets a little too Bono for my tastes, I think it's pretty spot on.

I mean, isn't it?

That's my way of saying that I'm in a very re-evaluatey place right now, and have been for a bit longer than I'd like.  

But at the same time, these times of re-evaluation are what the best parts of my life come out of.  It takes a major discomfort/dissatisfaction to make the kind of change necessary to really reinvigorate and energize my life.  

And then big things happen.  And then I take bigger steps.  And then...I get that much closer to conquering the world.

Which, as we all know, is inevitable.

All I need is to know how to get there.  For someone to....show me the way, perhaps?  ;-)


Yeah, that was a really cheesy ending to this blog.

I took some time off. Since college, I haven't devoted any time to it, really...but that break is over.

It's time for me to start singing again.

I'm not nearly ambitious enough with the whole singing thing to concern myself with open mics, or anything like that.

Maybe something like that is later in my future.

For now, I don't even have the time to join a choir, I don't think.

But my piano and my sheet music are coming out.

And you get to hear about it once in a while.

......you're welcome?
......I'm sorry?

I guess we'll see :)

It's kind of a....postlet.  A vignette, if you will.  Or something else, if you won't.

So, anyway,

I've been considering switching to a new blog host. Like wordpress.  Sometimes it seems like an obvious choice.  A necessity.

And then some days, like today, I can't think of why I would.

So, I present to you, all 8 of you reading, two questions:

1. Why *should* I switch?  What would be the pros to it?
2. If I did switch, would you still read me? I know most of your are LJers...I'd hate to lose you just because of a silly whim.

Go!

Unrelated to the post: In case you didn't know, Reality TV is not about fostering friendship (apparently) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w536Alnon24

So, I'm about to make some enemies, I think.  Y'see, there are a few things in pop culture right now that just drive me crazy.  I see it as my mission to set the record straight.

1. The Obvious
Remember in 1992 when "Achy Breaky Heart" came out and we all thought Billy Ray Cyrus couldn't unleash anything worse onto the world?
As we all know...we were wrong.
Just like that awful song and the popularity of mullets (they were popular in Montana, anyway...), Billy Ray has struck again (and again and again) with the worst thing yet: Miley.
I could go into all the problems with Miley (including: who the hell names their child Miley??), but anyone who watches The Soup has heard it all.  I'll just delve a bit into the issue that is most horrifying in my brain currently:
Party in the USA.
Okay, people...give me a break.  While this is not the worst song I've ever heard (that award goes to LFO's "Summer Girls"), it's pretty bad.  Clearly the vernacular of our culture has reached some major lows, because what the heck does it mean to move one's hips "like yeah"?  It means nothing!  And clearly Miley's writers suffer from LFO Syndrome, because those butterflies have just as much to do with the song as Michael J. Fox and Shakespeare have to do with the aforementioned "Summer Girls".  When did it become okay to just fill space with completely unrelated lyrics?  At least when Billy Joel had space to fill, he didn't just shove words in there and hope no one noticed they made no sense in context.  What's wrong with some "Na Nana Nanana"?  I mean, it wouldn't save the song, but maybe it'd redeem it a little?

Ugh.  I just get so tired of trite (and just plain BAD) lyrics.  There are talented songwriters out there.  Please save us all and hire them!!

and now,

2. The Controversial
I'm just gonna rip the bandaid off and say it right out: Glee is not a good TV show.
Okay, okay, calm down!
I do not say this from a judgmental place.  I watch the show.  And it's not a horrible show.  But that doesn't mean it's good.
Parts of it are good.  Great, in fact.  There are some brilliant lines that I just about die over.
And then....there are the parts that make me cringe in horror.
When I heard people refer to the show as "High School Musical meets Bring It On" I was very afraid.  My fears came true.  It's exactly the mix of wonderful and horrible that I inferred from that comparison.  I love seeing incredibly talented (and in the case of Matthew Morrison, attractive) performers do what they do best.  I love seeing new takes on awesome and/or underrated songs.  I do not love seeing bad writing held up as a measuring stick for "good" TV.  Again I say: Okay people...Give me a break! Yes, some of the lines are incredible (Sue Sylvestre kills me!), but many more are boring, lame, or just plain bad.  More importantly, the plot lacks just about everything.  It's formulaic in the worst ways...in the ways that make the characters dumb and one-dimensional.  Just like in High School Musical.  In every single episode, Will something morally inappropriate and remains oblivious to the people around him, then "learns his lesson" and apologizes. Rachel does something to alienate everyone, "learns her lesson" and apologizes.  And Finn does something that no one really cares about, never apologizes for anything, and never really has any of his storylines continue before they throw something new at us, so we have no idea if he's a jerk or someone that we like, or even someone that we give a damn about.  Throw in all the crazy twists you want, unless you delve down a little bit into the heart of....anything, the show is gonna get really old really fast.  I sorta wish the writers would give up and just turn it into a revue show. They could quit trying to have plots at all...at least then they wouldn't be lying to us or themselves.

And while they're changing things - fire the dude that plays Finn.  He's a bad actor, a horrible dancer, not all that special-looking, and only an okay singer.  But I guess I shouldn't be surprised.  After all, "only okay" is what Glee is all about.  Theatre Nerds: Did you know that they almost hired Aaron Tveit to play the role? He gave it up for Catch Me If You Can.  Woe is us. 

That said...I'll continue watching, if only because I'm in love with Mr. Morrison.  And Puck.  And Jane Lynch (for the record, that one's not the same kind of love). 

Call it a guilty pleasure.

And yes, I mean guilty. 

I'd say I'm sorry for offending anyone, but...well...it's my blog.

And I'm not here to make friends.

I read a blog post today.  It was a post I'd have never found on my own, on a blog I'd have never really thought to subscribe to...  But the post?  

It really hit home.

For those of you too lazy/uninterested to click that link (don't worry, that would be me if I was reading rather than typing this), the gist of the post is that it is simply unhealthy to spend more energy on someone (in *any* kind of relationship) than they are willing to spend on you.

It's a topic I've touched on a few times before.  Or maybe more than a few.

And while some things were worded differently than I've ever thought of them before (like the mention of the idea that we spend about 80% of our energy trying to foster relationships with people that aren't really putting anything into them), most of it was stuff that I've thought, heard, or even said myself.  

Yeah...this topic is one I battle with all the time.

But this particular blog did add 2 very important concepts that I hadn't really considered before.

First, that subtracting those draining relationships, the ones where you work and work and get no/little response, doesn't have to be dramatic.  It's not about subtracting a person from your life.  And it's not about blame, and what someone has done (or not done) to hurt you.  It's about acknowledging that right now, maybe that person is just not equipped for some reason or another to put in their share of the effort.  Maybe they're busy, or dealing with personal issues, or something else.  Whatever the reason, the healthy perspective to (try to) put on the situation is that it can't work right now, and that's okay.  Maybe one day things will be different.  In the meantime, scale back your effort to the same level as the other person involved, and move on to more rewarding things.

It seems so easy...and I know it's not necessarily, but even taking a moment to think about it in that way reduces my stress and tension levels.

The second concept is that if you are finding yourself in those situations, you are also probably putting others in those situations.

Seems obvious, right?  I read that, and immediately thought of three or four friends that I just never am in contact with.  I like them and want to hang out, but I don't make the effort to get around to even sending an email, or writing on a facebook wall.  I dwell on being left in the dust, or out in the cold, but I've never really considered the inverse (or is it converse?  I'm too tired to look it up.) and frankly, it makes me a little angry with myself.

So, I've made a decision.  As much as possible, when I start thinking "why hasn't _____called/replied to my email/etc", I'll take a moment to take a breath and think "probably for the same reason i haven't called/emailed/etc _______".  And then turn that anger or frustration into something that might actually result in something enjoyable and fulfilling.



Of course, even if I can't manage to do that all the time, I have been reminded yet again (as always happens) of how lucky I am to have the wonderful, enriching, *mutually invested* friends that I do have.  I love you guys!

Have I ever told you about my friend Marky-Mark?

Okay, I know I have, briefly.  

But I gotta tell you about how amazing he is.

First: backstory

I met Marky when I was 5.  We were about to start kindergarten.  His family had just moved to my little sliver of the tundraland.  Our dads worked together.

And for that year, and maybe a few more, we were practically inseparable.  On days when we didn't have school, we spent every moment of non-meal time at one or the other's home.  After that year or so, we were still pretty damn close, if a bit more branched out.

And by "after that year or so" I mean For.Ever.

We had our times of being less attached.  The first was Junior High, when I was too busy trying to make people like me to actually be a good friend.  Then there was a time in High School, when we were close on the surface, but both too busy with our own parallel personal dramas to spend alot of time realizing how similar they really were. Then there were a few years in College, when we just never got around to getting in touch.  And I guess you could call now one of those times, but only geographically....I'm in NY, he's in Portland, Oregon.  But we still call each other once in a while.  

Despite all those lame things that happen when one is growing up, Marky and I have stayed pretty tight.

I mean, this kid has known me through *everything*.  From chicken pox to heartbreak to all the major milestones.  Next year(ish), I'm going to his wedding.  Eventually, he'll be a part of mine.  

And I've learned alot from him.  How to evolve gracefully.  How to love myself.  How to never take myself too seriously.  How to have FUN.

Hopefully, I'll be able to add something else to that list before too long.

Y'see, the reason I thought to tell you about him is that today, I finally put the work into my "Inspiration Board" for the weightloss project that's been on hiatus for the last year.  It looks great.  Inspiring pictures of beautiful women, quotes from others and myself, quantifiable and theoretical goals.  There are also 2 pictures of beautiful man.

These:

  and  

The first is from Christmas Break of 2004-2005.  Marky is second from the left.
The second is from my Dad's retirement party this May.  Marky's in the middle.

Not only has he made an incredible transformation for himself (as you can see), he's made that transformation his life.  He's now a personal trainer.

Obviously, this dude is one remarkable inspiration.  

Marky-Mark is the same awesome person I've always known him to be.  But he's also completely different.  In all the best ways.

In the ways I'm attempting to make some changes for myself.

More than just in the way I look.  In the way I feel about myself, and my place in the world.  In the way I go through the world.  And in the way people look at me.

I hope one day I can be as much of an inspiration as he is to me.  


Even though I know, no matter how I try, I'll never be quite as cool as Marky-Mark, the Funky One.
(Oh yeah.  That's the nickname I gave him.  You know you love it :D)

I've tried to write something interesting for today about five times in the last 20 minutes.  I just keep ending up sounding stupid.  

I promise, i'm not stupid.

I'm just exhausted.

It's not that I don't have anything to write about... but I don't have the energy to write about the things that I have on my mind.  Y'see, I've spent the day (like, starting at 9am) being ridiculously productive. Mom had an early flight outta the city, and I couldn't get back to sleep....so I scrubbed down the kitchen, cleaned the living room, cleaned and ORGANIZED my bedroom (I have *more* storage space than I needed. Who knew!?), and started a couple other very important projects.

Like I said: exhausted.

So...here, have some lists.

First:
Music I want to procure (most definitely not all of it)
1. The new Foo Fighters recording(s) (not necessarily the greatest hits compilation, but the new stuff on said compilation)
2. The newest Fall Out Boy album (I'm behind, I know!)
3. The new Paramore album (which is actually new!)
4. Any 30 Seconds to Mars album 
5. Anything else.....? (please fill in the blank!)

Books on Tape I want to procure 
I am never quite awake enough to read on the train, but I'm awake enough to pay attention to being read to.  I've discovered, though, that it has to be a classic, because some things are just too weird/dirty/awkward to have someone else tell you about. That said, I'd probably be willing to actually read these, too...
1. Catcher in the Rye (I've read it, but don't remember)
2. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
3. Anna Karenina
4. The Picture of Dorian Gray
5. Catch-22
6. The Great Gatsby
7. The Jungle
8. Wuthering Heights
9. The Bell Jar
10. Breakfast at Tiffany's
11. The Invisible Man
12. The War of the Worlds (this is one that I think I actually *need* to experience as an audiobook. Unless I can find the radio play :D)

Blogs I have cooking in my brain...apparently on a slow simmer.
Think of this as the building of suspense :)
1. My Idols
2. My Heroes (it's different!)
3. Birthday weekends 2 and 3
4. Getting back on the wagon(s)
5. My not-so-happy thoughts on a popular happy TV show


I'll be back tomorrow with more (interesting) things to say!

Say what you wanna say about signs, fate, astrology, etc, but I certainly do not discount them.

(if you ever want to get into a conversation about their place in religion - mine specifically - just say so.  I'll spare you for now...)

Anyway, remember yesterday's post?  Well, this morning, for no apparent reason, I decided to check my horoscope.  I do this seldom, and find something more than just generally useful in it even less often.  But ....well, just read:


I was rather unspecific about things in my last post (wisely, I'd say), but trust me - that is *very* appropriate. 

And now...I feel a little less stressed out.

Except for that last part...I've never been very good at nixing the frienemies. 

 This has been a very rough workweek.  As in, the part of my life that includes my survival job has been really rocky.  Falling short on little things because of getting caught up in the big projects.  Being pulled in too many directions too often.  Feeling stretched from multitasking to be-in-twelve-places-at-once-ing.  Not feeling well.  Being stuck at the office 10 minutes after I'm off Every Day.  And then today, waking up at 9:04, exactly four minutes after I was supposed to be in the office.  It's been a long day, following a lonnnnnng week.  And today was only Thursday.

Some of that was my fault (no one didn't set my alarm but me!), some was just bad luck, and some was the fault of the people around me.  I mean...I'm not trying to imply that bad things always happen to me and it's no fair - I take responsibility where it's mine.

But the point is,

I am worn the fuck out.

I feel like the job, this week, has made it impossible for me to have time for anything else - either during the work day, or after it.  I'm so busy, and/or so exhausted, that no other part of life exists.

That's what real jobs are about.  Not survival jobs.

So this Saturday, I'm taking the day off.  To recharge.  To plan for the rest of my week, month, year, etc.  Big things are coming, projects and goals that will re-orient me and my priorities.

I just need a day, y'know?  One to myself.  With no responsibilities to anyone.  Except me.  

...Am I the only one that doesn't take those often enough?

With the 20 minutes left in this day, I wondered....what could I share with the internet world that would be both interesting and brief?

Then I remembered.

Yesterday, on that twitter thingy, I asked my friends what was making them happy.  I received 4 responses.  One person shared pictures from her weekend that also happened to be genuinely happy things.  One told me she'd be happy if whatever unhappy thing that was going on would stop (therefore only complaining while using the word happy).  One sent me a link about a study that showed that chronically ill people are actually happier if they give up hope (because he likes to be contrary).  And proko5   Wrote a blog listing 10 things that were currently making him happy.

Hey, 2 outta four ain't that bad, right?

Anyway, I was inspired by his post and my time constraint, so here you are.  My 10 Happies:

1. Clearing the air
2. My mommy (including the fact that she's in town, and the fact that she not only puts up with but enjoys the fact that I swear and tease her often)
3. How I Met Your Mother
4. Having the chance to actually do that thing I consider my career
5. The prospect of one entire day all to myself
6. The feeling I get all day after a morning at the gym
7. Aleve
8. Forging new bonds with awesome people
9. My ridiculously perfect new purse
10. Fruit!

What's making you happy?

Sometimes I write long posts that are insightful, interesting, or at least attempt to be entertaining.

And sometimes, I just feel the need to mention how much I love crunching the fall leaves under my feet as I walk home at night.

:-D 

Y'know, it's a good thing that October isn't NBPM.  If it was, I'd have failed.  Miserably.  Life was waaaay too overwhelming last month.

Case in point: I'm cleaning my apartment now for pretty much the first time in a month.  I've done some light cleaning, but nothing that anyone would ever see and go "wow, you're such a clean person, Kate!"

I'm not exactly a filthy person, but....clean is certainly not a word one would use to describe me.

But I digress  (and I hadn't even really started the blog yet!)

I feel the need today to tell you about a concept I hadn't really thought about before I started a real-world, full-time job back in February.  Before that, when I was temping, every commute was different and interesting - different routes, different times, different people.  But ever since I really perfected my commute (I discovered the amazing, less-annoying-ness of the bus two or three months ago), I've found that consistent can also be interesting.  

For instance: Bus Buddies.

Bus buddies, in my own personal usage, are not people with whom I've become friends.  Of course not...I'm far too busy blocking out the world with my earbuds.  Don't judge me - if you knew how I am in the morning, you'd be glad that I don't talk to people during my commute.  No, bus buddies are the people I share the bus with virtually every morning.  Many of them have stories that I've made up in my brain.  Usually these stories are based on some distinctive feature or general attitude.  There's the curly-haired just-as-bad-at-mornings-as-me girl.  There's adorable interracial couple who walks to the bus together even though he doesn't actually have anywhere to go.  Etcetera.

My favorites, though, are the ones that remind me of people I already "know".  Their names (in my head) are Harold and Rufus.  

Harold is so named because of his resemblance to the character of the same name in the Miniseries of Stephen King's The Stand.

   


I'd say "Harold" is somewhere between these two...not quite trying as hard as the studded leather jacket, but certainly trying harder than the bolo tie.  He often wears button-down shirts, with one more unbuttoned at the top than is really the social norm (or attractive for the poor guy...).  He seems nice...but like a giant geek.  He is clearly addicted to his Kindle.

Rufus is so named not because he reminds me of someone (real or fictional) named Rufus, but....well, I'll start with the pictures:

     

In case these aren't clear enough for you, they are stills from the classic (ahhh, if only Drew Barrymore weren't in it...) chick flick, Never Been Kissed.  The character is Guy - but the catchphrase he helped make cool: "rufus".  Hence the name of my bus buddy.  He actually looks remarkably like this dude...only a bit less douchey. Translation: I find him attractive, despite the association :).  I have a debate going on in my brain about what kind of conversationalist he would be.  One side thinks he's impressively interesting and intelligent.  The other side is pretty sure his conversation skills don't go beyond "I'm thinking about my sword".

Which...you know...might also be okay.

If you know what I'm sayin ;)

 Am I going to bed at 9:30 pm?

Why yes, yes I am.  

And that, my friends, is today's DDA.

Tomorrow: Birthday weekends #2 and #3! Or...at least one of them :)

G'nite!





Btw: Welcome to NBPM (yes, I'm still against the stupid "accepted" abbreviation for National Blog Posting Month)

My apologies for the whining yesterday.  All it took was a beautiful morning to reconfigure my perspective and brighten up the world.

Have I mentioned I love fall?  Oh, right...I have.

Picture it:

Billy Joel's Fantasies and Delusions tinkling in my ears.
The brisk fall breeze hitting my skin and making me feel more alive.
A brilliant new fall-y-er haircolor, and additionally good hair day.
19 blocks on a bus with no other passengers.
A leisurely start to a day in which everything happened on time.
Powdered munchkins from Dunkin, and a caramel coffee that made me wonder why I've been drinking raspberry for over a year.
The calming excitement of my mother's impending arrival in the city, and of spending an evening with two of my best friends before one leaves for the next two months.
The promise of a new start.
Deep breaths.
Deep. Cleansing. Breaths.


I call this a DDA.  Wouldn't you?

 Dear world,

You've been mostly good to me lately.  Nothing dreadful, dramatic, or disgraceful has happened in a long time.  A few less-than-awesome events have transpired, but none of them have been negative...just, decidedly not positive.

I don't mean to be lookin' this gift horse named Life in the mouth or anything, but the lack of positivity in the last week or so has gotten to feel kinda like negativity.  I feel a distinct lack of balance.

So, I have a request: please find a way to make some really good things, or maybe even one amazing thing happen to/near/related to me.  Is that possible?

I just need something really positive to offset the....negativishness.

Sincerely, Kate

Perhaps I'm being a bit negative here (although considering how seldom I do so, I'm inclined to doubt it), but I have to ask,

Do any of you New Yorkers get the feeling sometimes that living here has a tendency to make people less likely to reach out to others?

Not to lend a hand - but to ask someone else to do so.

My current theory is that it's the vibe of independence that thrives in this city.  The feeling that, in order to make it, one has to be ready and able to make it happen by themselves.  And even moreso, the feeling that *asking* for help is much worse than actually accepting help.

Does this make any sense?  

Does anyone else see this?

I don't know if it's real or imagined.  If it's everyone around me, or something within myself.  I do know that in my life as of late, it seems like the only person doing any reaching out in any significant sense is the one that is probably (but lovably!) the least sane.

Or maybe...maybe he's the most sane, after all?

In honor of the closeness of the most awesome day in the world (just ONE more shopping day left! do you know what you're getting me for my birthday??) ;), I am going to refer to two-weekends-ago's trip to LA as "Birthday Weekend 1".  Recaps of Weekends 2 and 3 will be forthcoming...probably :)

So anyway...

Los Angeles

It was a fantastic vacation.  It was also a bit bizarre.  But pretty much entirely in the best ways possible.  I'll spare the minutia, and skip to the good stuff.

* Touched down and almost immediately (at like midnight) got some tacos from a taco truck.  Delicious.  And cheap.  Food and drink in LA is apparently an entire dollar cheaper than NY.
* Saturday brunch included Strawberry Chai Pancakes.  I am now on the search for a recipe for said pancakes...or just Chai pancakes I can put strawberries on.  Because, dude...seriously good.
* Wet Hot American Summer theme party.  Incredible.  Although...someone - perhaps me? - should have had the sense to stop me when I opened the second bottle of champagne after I finished the first all on my own.  I am now known to Natalie and Andrea's friends simply as "Pukey".  
* Here's us in our costumes.  I look exactly like Bradley Cooper, right? :-p http://twitpic.com/l2km7
* on Sunday, Terri came to play!  Of course, this happened to be the one time we didn't have a whole lot planned... just made some rum cake, ordered a 28-inch pizza (oh yes) and then did a little sight-seeing and walked down Rodeo Drive.  Also, waited in line for an hour to get some cupcakes.  Luckily, they were really good cupcakes.  But still...I hope she wasn't too bored.
* Went to a bonfire on the beach - my first time seeing (and sticking my toes into) the Pacific Ocean!
* The bonfire, though, was WEIRD.  It was put on by a non-profit organization that focused on philanthropy and community-building.  The people in attendance were all near my age, and all really really beautiful (like, every actor and model who was free came to that bonfire).  And...um...how do I say this - everyone was very nice, but the vibe just didn't make alot of sense to me.  There was no alcohol (which was okay, but unexpected), and everyone talked to all these people they didn't know as though they wanted to make them their best friends.  And even if that was true...well, I just got the sense that these people didn't really have much of a connection to reality.  You know? Like, for instance, I support travel just for the experience, and saving the environment, and keeping oneself as healthy as possible...but I also know that I need to make money in order to get the plane tickets, to buy "green" things, and to eat organic food.  And it seemed like there was a bit of a disconnect between these people and that second part.  What can I say - it just wasn't my jam. 
* Went to a "trendy" club that was really just loud and annoying.
* Went to a truly awesome bar, at which the owner/bartender (an older East-European woman) made popcorn and hotdogs for the patrons, and made sure there were cookies out at all times.  We sat on the comfy couches, listened to the perfectly-stocked jukebox, and actually heard our conversations. Stellar.
* Spent Monday sight-seeing - Observatory, Walk of Fame, Graman's Chinese Theatre, Amoeba Music, etc.
* Finished the weekend with some pretty good live music - with the added bonus that the relatively-normal band all dressed up for Halloween.  The lead singer was a dragon. The drummer was a pirate, complete with hook...which she drummed with at one point.  Totally fun.

And then I got on a plane, and spent four hours wishing I could sleep.  The next day at 9:00am I was finally home and utterly sleep-deprived.  I suffered through the half-day of work and then got back to my normal life.  The jet-lag (which till then I had thought was just a made up excuse, really) stuck with me till the following weekend.  But still?  Worth it. Way worth it.


Life between then and now has been fully owned by prep for my NY directing debut, which opened yesterday (and closes today...).  The show went really well, especially considering the short amount of time we had to throw it all together.  Most importantly, I've learned some important things about myself and what I really want to get out of this whole directing thing, and I've been getting to work with some really talented people.  It's been the reason you haven't heard from me, and now that things are quiet(er), I should be back to my once or twice a week self.

:-D

Welcome to the post in which I channel Mary Katherine Gallagher.  Y'see, like her I've found that recently the best way I can think of to express what's going on with me is through lyrics. 

For instance:

Lately I've been battling with myself over how much of my crazy-girl-ness is acceptable to share with the world, and how much I should keep to myself.  Posts about cuddling and best friends (which appear here all the freaking time, it seems) are proof of the fact that sometimes, I'm just a needy girl.  But is it really okay (or as my roommate says, EXPECTED) for me to demand that someone drops what they're doing to give me a hug, or talk me down from a ledge?  Is it okay to interrupt someone else's life in order to help fix the major issues in mine?  Obviously I'm talking about someones who are very close to me, and therefore have maybe a bit of an obligation to me, but still...  I find that it's really hard for me to find the balance between asking for what I need and becoming too much like Billy Joel's Laura:

Or how about:

Most of you know that I've gone by both Kathy and Kate.  And I've said before, I don't really care which one people call me, but I do feel as though the person that I was when most people called me Kathy is a completely different one than the person that most people call Kate.  Ben Folds explains it about as well as I could in:
Carrying CathyNot that either is something with which I exactly identify, but the difference between the two is almost exactly the same as the difference in my own life.  Yeah, I know...deep, right?

And of course there's:

Lately I've found myself in the presence of people that I wasn't necessarily excited to have to deal with again.  People who were friends once, and then made it very clear through their actions that they are in fact *not* friends of mine...and then resurfaced as though we'd always been friends and nothing had transpired.  The interactions have evoked emotions that ranged from mild annoyance to flat-out irritation...but in either extreme, the general feeling has been the same as OkGO's in Don't Ask Me:
This all comes at a very logical time, too.  Y'see, in just two weeks is the 26th anniversary of an event that made it possible for me to identify for the first time with the lyrics of a song.  This goes out to my brother Freddie: because of him, every word of this song applies to me quite literally:
:-D Happy birthday to you, indeed!

I got this message today on that online dating site I'm on:

Title:  i like your friend
Body:

i really do
does she have a profile on here and single?
probably not

by the way i do like your profile and things you wrote

But i really like your friend on the left in your pic :-)

make it happen for us? lol" 

Amazing, right?  Like, I am literally filled with amazement.

It's time I break up with this online dating business.  The possibility had been brewing, but this was the nail in the coffin.

Dudes, man.  Dudes....